Lifespan zero? Then I activated a hidden system by playing matchmaker in my cult.

After sixty years of failed cultivation, I was on my deathbed — so I decided to go out with a bang. But instead of dying, I triggered a hilariously late system. Now I'm stuck in the Pleasure Sect, forced to play the ultimate simp. Watch this washed-up old loser turn "daily errands" into a cheat-level comeback — one bowl of soup at a time. 😮‍💨🔥 Li Meng spent sixty whole years in the Pleasure Sect, and achieved exactly nothing. His cultivation is practically zero. His lifespan? Almost gone. 💀 So on his last legs, he says screw it — he volunteers to take care of his junior disciple's lovers. Cooking, cleaning, running errands, playing messenger… might as well go out with some dignity, right? Wrong. A system — sixty years late — finally activates. And it doesn't care about dual cultivation, talent, or rare herbs. The only way to level up? Serve people. Mediate fights. Handle the most boring, everyday chores of sect life. 🧹📜 From that day on, Li Meng becomes the most invisible — and most indispensable — logistics monk in the entire Pleasure Sect: Brewing calming tea for bickering couples ☕ Delivering heated bed warmers to juniors in seclusion 🛏️ Passing love poems between sulking senior sisters 💌 Breaking up petty drama before it turns into a full-blown feud 🗣️💥 His cultivation rises at a snail's pace. The trouble, however, comes fast and furious. But somewhere between the squabbles, the late-night stews, and the quiet moments under the sect's eaves — Li Meng starts to taste what it actually means to live. 🍲🌙 No epic world-shattering battles. No humiliation-revenge arcs. Just a bunch of flawed, noisy, affectionate cultivators bickering their way through immortality under one roof. A dying man. A pleasure sect. And the most ordinary days of his life — this, he finally realizes, might just be his true path. 🛤️✨